The Strength of Being a Woman: How My Mother Balanced Motherhood, College, Career, and Her Dreams

Learning From the Women Before Me

As a twenty three year old woman, I am endlessly learning from the older women in my family as I observe them throughout the years. One of the biggest things I have learned was from my Mother, through her balance of motherhood and worklife.

When Three Generations Lived Under One Roof

When my sister was born, my mother was thirty years old. At the time she was working as an administrative assistant for an advertising company, and nearing the end of her pregnancy, naturally went on maternity leave. She then gave birth to my older sister, and six months later when her maternity leave was coming to an end, my grandfather came to live in our condo. He was becoming too old to live on his own, at 85 years old, yet this decision also came paired with the decision to extend my mothers maternity leave, which she did. About a year later my mother was now pregnant with me, and at this point, had decided not to go back to work at all. With a baby on the way, a toddler running around, and an elderly father to take care of, she had too much on her hands. My father was of course helping, but someone needed to be home at all times during the day, especially after I was born and my mother was now responsible for a newborn baby as well.

A Decade of Being Home

Until I was about ten years old, my mother didn’t work. Even after my grandfather’s passing, and while my sister and I were in school for the day, she found there was still too much to do for her to return to work just yet. She wanted to be home throughout the day in case we called from school, she wanted to be able to walk us there in the morning, and be waiting at the door when we arrived home, ready to go through our bags and sign our agenda’s.

Going Back to School in Her Forties

Eventually though, she found it less necessary to walk us all the way to school. As we grew older we called home less, and the basic tasks at home became smaller and few. My mother slowly realized she wanted to be doing more with her time, more for herself. This slow burn realization resulted in my mother finding herself going back to college through her early forties. At a young age, I watched my mother balance motherhood and education, playing in playgrounds with my father and sister while she wrote exams, and poking her shoulder hesitantly when she was hunched over her laptop and I wanted a snack. She did it all, and then, she went back to work and she continued to do it all.

Finding Remote Work Before It Was a Trend

She luckily found a remote-job, far ahead of the pandemic induced remote-job trend. This work style allowed her to wave from the door as my sister and I left for school in the mornings, sign our agendas and go through our lunch boxes when we got home, and most importantly, simply be there when we needed her. She often worked through her lunch, eating right at her desk so she could take a break from 3:15-3:30 and welcome my sister and I home at the door. She folded laundry on work calls, and marinated meat for dinner in between tasks. 

A Woman Who Keeps Redefining Herself

Growing up, I had already watched my mother and wondered how she held the whole roof of the house down. Yet now that I am older, and so is she, she has newly evolved since entering her forties, and has repeated that evolution again at fifty. She has redefined herself more times than I expected, always showing me that she can be more than either of us thought, teaching me that I can be more than I ever thought, too.