Zaynah Marani, Lawyer, on Starting Her Practice Work and Do Not Ask Permission To Leave

Zaynah Marani spends her working life asking a government for permission on behalf of people who aren't allowed to ask for themselves. The biggest thing she's done, she did without asking anyone.

Laid Off Before the Firm

Before there was a firm with her name on it, Zaynah Marani got fired.

"I was laid off, actually. I worked for about a year and a half at two different firms. The first one wasn't right for me, so I moved to a different one. The second one was not right either, and I was laid off at the end. I think I was there for about six months."

She was a year out from being called to the bar.

"It was the biggest disappointment. I was really upset. I thought to myself, oh my god, I don't have a job anymore."

"I Was a Terrible Employee"

A career counsellor told her to open her mind. Her sister Zahra asked why they didn't just start their own firm. Their parents had run a pharmacy in Ridgeway, Ontario, for thirty years.

"My family was made up of entrepreneurs for generations. I didn't realize at the time, but it was almost in my blood. I was a terrible employee. I wouldn't be able to just sit there and follow direction all day."

Don't Say "Just"

She told her father she was just going to start her own practice. He stopped her on the word.

"He said, look, if you're going to start your own practice, I fully support that. But don't say just. Don't say you're just going to do it, because it's not a just. You're not taking the easy way out. The way you're saying it makes me think that you think it's going to be easier, but it's not. So recognize what this is. A big step."

First month, she billed two hundred and fifty dollars and didn't know how to do the invoice. That was fourteen years ago.

Tired of Being Praised

Ask what she's praised for that she's tired of being praised for and it takes her a while, and then it doesn't.

"I think everyone praises me for doing a good job as a single mother. And sometimes I think, of course I'm going to do a good job — this is what I have to do."

"When they say, oh it must be so hard, you're doing such a good job, I wonder, are they feeling bad for me? Sometimes it just annoys me. Okay, we don't need to have this conversation again."

Done Asking Permission

Her entire job is asking a government for permission on behalf of people who can't ask for themselves. So: what has she stopped asking permission for?

"I've stopped asking permission for everything. If I need something, or if I want something, I'm capable of getting it myself. A big learning curve was leaving my marriage and not asking for permission to leave. I made the decision, I left, and now I am seeing the other side. I made it happen, and it's been amazing."

Never Fully Free

There's a version of this where that's the ending. It isn't.

"I have a lot of flexibility, but I'm never fully free. A lot of people see me being able to be free. But I'm not sure they realize there's always that pull."

Nothing Is Done

What is she still not done with?

"My separation. Even though I really want to be done with it. It's taking too long. I moved out just over a year ago, but — nothing is done."

A pause.

"It's very complicated."